IceSamurai.net

I found these commercials about a year ago, I still laugh when I watch them.

Hockey Rules: Never date within the division.  (Bruins and Habs are major rivals).

Hockey Rules: Never tuck in your jersey.  Reminds me of the earlier days on the internet, on IRC (chat) you could “slap” somebody “around a bit with a large trout.”

So it’s been… … … 13 years since I played ice hockey in an organized league (I’m not counting intramural ice hockey when I was in college).  So it’s been on my mind a lot lately, and I’m planning on getting back into it.  I still have my equipment from back then.  Though I think some of it *shrunk* in storage (yeah, that’s what I tell myself).  I still use my old Bauer Custom 4000s… but they’re literally falling apart, I’ll have to post a pic.  I think I’m gonna replace them with a pair of Graf’s.  I have to drive to Houston for that, but it should be worth it.

Aside from replacing some of the shrunken equipment (which still retains that great old post-game/practice smell), I have to get a new stick.  I used Titan sticks when I played.  Titan sticks were great for my slapshots.  Actually, myself and a childhood friend who got me into hockey had the hardest slapshots on the team.  He got his clocked in the lower 80’s [mph], mind you we 15 or younger.  I never got mine clocked, but it was close to his shot.

Titan sticks were manufactured by Karhu Canada (later Sports Holdings, then CCM acquired them, but then Reebok acquired CCM).  Of the brands that they [Reebok] inherited, they only kept CCM, Koho and Jofa brands active.  Heaton, Canadien and Titan brands are gone.  Titan sticks had their history in nordic/cross-country skis (google XSD History project), incorporating fibreglass in their construction.  A very stiff stick, perfect for slapshots and quite a spectacle when the blade snapped.

I’ve been searching around for the rare stick, occasionally seeing them on ebay or some classified ads.  I’ve been trying to remember what stick it was that I really liked.  I want to say it was the Titan ASD X000 (I don’t know the exact number, probably 5000).  Also had an aluminum Titan shaft, but the shaft actually cracked (yes the aluminum) while in college, so I chucked it.  The blades I used typically had a square toe and square/sharp heel with a closed face, similar to what CCM now calls the Thornton blade pattern.  This let my slapshot rise about a foot [30cm] of the ice without effort.

I’ve read that the Reebok 1k/2k sticks are what became of the Titan sticks.  As much as I hate that two shoe companies now own 90%+ of the hockey equipment market, I’ll have to suck it up and check out those sticks.

The Eastern Conference is in need of losing some dead weight… namely: Atlanta and Florida.  It’s a bit overweight too,  the NY Islanders, they gotta move .  The LA Kings have to go somewhere more deserving, besides it’s only a 30 mile drive to Anaheim…

Map of an envisioned reconfiguration of the NHL

Division renaming:

• Atlantic renamed Mid-Atlantic (go with the geographic area name anyway)
• Central renamed Mid-West
• Pacific renamed Southwest

For cities receiving a hockey club, I’m renaming it to use a major hockey club’s name that the city used to host perhaps in the early years, or in a different league that was able to compete for the Stanley Cup

Eastern Conference:

• Milwaukee Wanderers (formerly Atlanta Thrashers)
  Wanderers (Montréal, NHA 1909).  I considered Maulers…
• Winnipeg Jets (formerly Florida Panthers)
  Their old team until the got moved to Phoenix, gotta resurrect it.
• Buffalo moved from Northeast Division to Mid-Atlantic Division

Western Conference:

• Seattle Metropolitans (fomerly New York Islanders)
  I seriously considered using the Shamrocks (Toronto, NHA 1914; Montréal; and other cities)… nice ring, and Seattle is known as the Emerald City.  But the Mets won a Stanley Cup, so it took precedence.  Other names considered:  Scouts (Kansas City, NHL ‘67);  Snipes;  Sentinels;  Seadogs;  Seals (Oakland/California, NHL ‘67);  Corsairs… or keep Islanders…  suggestions?
• Portland Rosebuds (formerly Los Angeles Kings)
  The Rosebuds were the first U.S.-based team to make it into the Cup Finals, had to go with it.  Also considered Pirates and Cougars.
  LA’s management and owners would be left in LA… 40 years to make a team better, they just can’t do anything right.
• Detroit moves to Eastern Conference / Northeast Division
• Columbus moves to Eastern Conference / Southeast Division
• Nashville moves to Eastern Conference / Southeast Division… I decided to let them keep their team, sorry Hamilton (Ontario).
• Colorado moves to Southwest Division

Visio map I created:  here

I would have figured with the NHL expansion into the Southern States that their balls wouldn’t be as shriveled up since moving into warmer climates… but no, they’re still non-existant, as Gary Bettman has bent the league over to kowtow to NBC’s whims… boo-hoo, NBC doesn’t want hockey to interfere with their weekday prime time summer (worthless revenue) schedule.  Hey, you bid on the broadcasting rights assholes… put up or get out.

Not that I already hate the [original] Big Three Networks… but I do (FOX ain’t nearly as bad). I find the excessive amount of ‘reality’-based programming annoying as locking yourself outside in your skivvies on a mid-winter day in Alberta (as in Alberta Clipper).  At least two of them (NBC and CBS) have canceled shows that I like… normally in favor of the shows that would entertain a cat (yes, I don’t like reality shows or cats).  NBC has, over the past several years, drawn my ire.  Now they’ve started messing around with all that is sacred, the NHL.

I realize that Gary Bettman (commissioner of the NHL) has been trying to grow the league both in revenue, geography and popularity, and has had a pretty good record of success (though I don’t agree with everything he’s done).  Over the past few years, the NHL has been broadcast on NBC.  The 2008-2009 season, thankfully marks the end of the contract term and it will be up for negotiation/bidding between all the major networks [here in the US anyway... wow I miss the CBC].

Throughout the year, NBC typically only carried a Saturday or Sunday afternoon game.  I can’t think of a single instance where I caught an evening game on NBC (though this may be because I rarely watch NBC at night).  Given that 95% of the NHL regular season (and maybe the first playoff round) occurs during the normal TV-season, I doubt NBC is going to bump their damn reality shows in favor of the NHL.  I realize the NHL is not as big as the other three major North American sports… but there was a time in the past 10 years it had better ratings than the NBA… but I digress.  So, NBC can show the weekend games, that’s fine.  Here’s my problem.  I’ve watched several of them all year… their cameramen suck ass.  They’re not used to shooting a white background (the ice), consequently resulting in a white-wash or over exposure/burn.  Their is so much over exposure, you can’t see the puck… you might be able to make out the blue and red lines on the ice if you’re lucky.  I’d almost rather watch the games on FOX with FoxTraxx (another peev).

Now comes the Stanley Cup Finals… and what does NBC request of the NHL since the Eastern and Western Conference Finals were over in 5 games or less?  Move up the start date of the Cup Finals.  So as would normally happen, for each round in the playoffs, there’s minimum 14 days allotted, every other day, maybe two days if moving to the other team’s arena that is more than 500+miles away.  NBC is a bunch of assholes who should shut the fuck up and deal.  NHL Teams play 82 games a season (6 months, or 3.15 games/week a bit less during Olympic years)… that’s a helluvalot more than those sissies in the NFL playing 16 games in 17 weeks.  All playoff series’ start dates should be determined and adhered to before the start of the playoffs, no alterations, except in extenuating circumstances.

Next year, I just need to get the NHL Channel and/or NHL Center Ice (nearly every game).

So I’m here in Texas trying to watch the playoffs… really hard unless you have the NHL Center Ice package (or equivalent thereof).

So with the new snafu that’s going on with the Phoenix Coyotes franchise (the owner is trying to get it put into bankruptcy so he can move it to Ontario), most likely the NHL will resolve the problem, and the ‘Yotes will remain in Phoenix.  But this brings up the hotly-contested issue of franchise locations within the NHL.  I completely agree that Canada needs to acquire a franchise (the overall consensus and my opinion: Winnipeg, MB).  I also think there are a few cities in the U.S. that really should NOT have gotten a franchise before my picks for locations.

Having read various articles, blogs, etc. on the issue, the consensus of persons commenting on the topic conclude the following cities are simply pariahs that should lose their franchise, and my pariah suggestions are noted with an astriks.

• Phoenix Coyotes (Phoenix, AZ)
  Partially Agree.  They’re in AZ for the long-haul, they have a 30-year lease at their arena.  If LA can have a team for 42 years, why not Phoenix.  Though I do think there were plenty of other cities that should have been considered before awarding a franchise to Phoenix.
• Atlanta Thrashers (Atlanta, GA)
  Agree.  WTF was the NHL thinking?  The previous attempt to franchise there (Atlanta Flames) fizzled out after 8 seasons.  The only reason Atlanta was awarded a franchise was because the league needed to expand evenly to bring in the NY Islanders (to stave off the WHA’s presence in NY-metro area).
• Nashville Predators (Nashville, TN)
  Agree.  WTF… I can see them leaving the city soon.
• Columbus Blue Jackets (Columbus, OH)
  Undecided. A bit close to Pittsburg territory.  Good population though.
• Florida Panthers (Sunrise, FL – near Miami) and Tampa Bay Lightning (Tampa, FL)
  Partially Agree.  This comes from a lot of Canadian fans, and I can understand this, I remember when these two started playing, I thought “Hockey in Florida?”  Both have been lackluster the past few years… Tampa won the cup before the lockout.  So if one has to go, it would have to be the Panthers.
• Carolina Hurricanes (Raleigh, NC)
  Disagree.  This comes from New England fans, the old Hartford Whalers should be brought back.  It’s not going to happen.  In that region you have Boston Bruins and New York Rangers and Islanders… that’s market saturation.  The Whalers were pulled in from the WHA merger.  Though I will say that Milwaukee should have gotten the old Whalers franchise.
• Buffalo Sabres (Buffalo, NY)
  Disagree.  I think I saw this only ONCE… and on a blog comment.  Canadian fans want a franchise in Hamilton, ON.  Understandable, but Buffalo’s been a pretty consistent club.  Then there are the fans, Buffalo fans are a breed apart (particularly the NFL’s Buffalo Bills) same goes for their hockey.  Need evidence?  Watch Buffalo ‘66.  Enough said.  Although should the Sabres ever go under, move the team to Hamilton, ON… I don’t think the Buffalo fans would mind the drive.
• NY Islanders (Uniondale, NY)*
  Got the Rangers, the Islanders were created to squeeze out the WHA.  They’ve served their purpose.  Their stadium is one of, if not the smallest in the NHL.  Time to go.  (For complete disclosure, I am a NY Rangers fan… unless Seattle gets a team)
• LA Kings (Los Angeles, CA)*
  One Campbell Trophy in their 42 year existence.  Anaheim Ducks are close by, and they have a Stanley Cup.  Much like the NY Islanders, time to go.

My picks for cities deserving of an NHL franchise:

1. Seattle, WA
   I’m partial to this because I’m a Seahawks and Mariners fan.  Plus, Seattle is home to the first American team to win the Stanley Cup (the Seattle Metropolitans).  A nice rivalry for Canucks fans.  Needs an arena though… here’s a proposed arena.  The best part of this proposed arena is that it would be privately financed… which is a good thing, as the area residents got screwed over by the state legislature when they voted in a referendum (”NO”), but then the reps went and helped finance Safeco and Qwest fields for the Mariners and Seahawks.
2. Winnipeg, MB
   Really self explanitory.
3. Milwaukee, WI
   I saw this on an article, I agree, they have the population and the arena.
4. Portland, OR
   They used to have the Rosebuds (competed for Stanley Cup in the early days).  First professional hockey team in the US.  Nice arena capacity too.
5. Hamilton, ON
   They got the numbers and the desire.  Just a bit too close to Toronto and Buffalo.  But they can support it and therefore afford the territorial fees.
6. Kansas City, KS
   They used to have the Scouts, need a team for the western conference.

Places that have been mentioned that would really have no chance in hell:

• Houston, TX
  One of the muggiest cities in the US.  Ice conditions in the latter part of the season would be awful.  I doubt they would have the fans to support it.
• Oklahoma, OK
  I wish I remembered where I saw this.  I nearly pissed myself laughing… it mentioned since OKC got the Sonics from Seattle, they should get a hockey team too.